Here is why I’ll wear the smug parent badge proudly.

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I was a smug-parent hater. When I became a mother, I was emotional at best and at worst. I compared every teeny detail of my son and his growth to everyone else’s baby. I was consumed with worry about whether he was healthy and growing at the “right” speed. If he didn’t roll over as quickly as BillyJoe next door, I couldn’t help but ask myself whether something was wrong with my son.

I struggled with motherhood in the first few months because I was unhappy with myself. In actual fact, my unhappiness had nothing to do with my son…


And how I break away from it.

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In this article, I explain how I manage to coach myself out of my negativity and lean towards a more positive thinking process that helps me tackle my issues with a more clear head. This might help others, but as always, if you are in pain and feel you need help, speak to a medical professional.

Why It’s So Easy To Spiral

Listening to your negative thoughts is effortless because they’re inside your head. They’re your thoughts, so they are just there, all the time. …


But bad sleeping habits might.

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When my baby was 4.5 months old, I was desperate for some sleep. Coming to the realisation that I couldn’t carry on as we were was guilt-inducing and the feeling of failure was overwhelming. Why couldn’t my baby fall asleep and stay asleep for a few hours at a time? Why was he so adamant about sleeping on me?

There was a perverse pleasure in knowing my baby took comfort in me though. One that deep down I didn’t want to end and that I took comfort in myself. The baby snuggles, while they sleep, are enamouring.

Until the consequences…


And he deserves praise.

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A father who takes his child to the park should not be praised by the other parents. A man who takes their newborn to baby classes alone should not be admired.

A father who does any of the things that a mother is expected to do should receive zero claps for it – because he should also be expected to do them all.

Up until recently, I actually agreed with this view.

There are not enough hands-on dads out there. According to researchgate.net, a study conducted in 2013 concluded that although the time-ratio in parents had changed over the last…


Indifference could be a solution to emotional exhaustion.

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My sister sent a message to our group chat the other day complaining about the long line at the testing centre for Covid. Surprised, I immediately rang her to get some answers, since I had no idea she needed a test — what symptoms did she have? How bad were they?

We live in different countries and we have seen each other just twice in the last year because of the travel restrictions caused by the pandemic. …


And how to expose yourself to them.

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The definition of “opportunity” according to the Google dictionary is:

“A time or set of circumstances that makes it possible to do something.”

The term is often used as a synonym to chance or luck. In fact, a phrase used by the Google dictionary to give context to the meaning is,

“Opportunity knocks — a chance of success occurs.”

Everyone knows of someone who seems to just get lucky. My husband is one of the most flukiest people I know. He sets out to do something, and he gets it through any means possible — most of the time, a…


Especially when you’re a new parent

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Most of us understand the power of sleep, but we don’t fully exercise it. It is one of those things that we take for granted or don’t look at fixing first when there are other issues.

If we are fighting stress at work, we might not think that a good night’s sleep could help solve it. If we are having difficulties with a loved one, we would never blame bad sleep for it or depend on it to fix the relationship.

I was not affected by a lack of sleep in my teens or my early 20s, and if I…


How I took control of its presence and used it to my advantage.

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Studies have shown that jealousy is closely linked to having low self-esteem, so it is no surprise that I am jealous by nature. I’ve felt a constant sense of deprivation throughout my life.

My husband is the complete opposite to me, but somehow, his self-love did not rub off on me straight away and while I mostly admired it, I did sometimes mistake it for absolute selfishness. This also comes as no shock to me today because I have learned that those who criticise others about their success are usually insecure about themselves. I definitely tick that box.

“The worst…


They don’t need to know your problems.

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I started writing about motherhood as a way to normalise the good, the bad, and the ugly.

It is highly glorified in the media and in society. We are given this image of a goddess of a mother who bosses an amazing career while still finding time to breastfeed her baby and go to her older son’s football games, all while somehow, the house remains spotless.

This picture is false. It is misleading and it is conditioning girls to aspire to be something that doesn’t align with their desires. It is also assuming that achieving this supermum look will bring…


The downside to writing about vulnerability

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Writing is my muse. It is my salvation. My therapy. I love writing and I have learned to love myself because of it. I thank my husband for pushing me to do it, and my son for inspiring me daily to write about my experiences as a mother.

Mostly, I thank myself for the commitment I have been able to stick to so far in building my career writing, despite having zero experience in the field.

Nothing is off-limits. I can literally write about anything and everything, and since I am not doing this solely for the money, my aim…

Sylvia Emokpae

Hustler by day, mother all the time. Inspired by normal life occurrences because, in hindsight, everything we do is interesting. Chocolate addict.

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