How learning to adapt positively will help you shape your future.
Change is undeniably unsettling. Sometimes we thrive with change, sometimes we panic. But it doesn’t go unnoticed — because change can potentially threaten our emotional safety.
However, change is ironically the only constant in life.
Down to the cells in our body which are forever growing, multiplying, and dying off. There is change in the weather, change in us as individuals as we grow older, change in our circumstances, change in politics, change in society, change in the law. We change our minds, our priorities, our jobs, our roles, even our habits.
Change is one thing that we all at…
“AM I DOING THIS RIGHT?” MODERN PARENT CONTEST
I’m ashamed when my son sees me cry, but I know I shouldn't be.
This post is an entry in Modern Parent’s “Am I Doing This Right?” writing contest.
My 2-year old son watched as I started sobbing a few nights ago. He was finishing his dinner and playing with his toy cars when he noticed my change in demeanour and the tears started rolling down my face.
He immediately came close to me but carried on playing with his toys, occasionally looking back at me and making sure he was close enough to be physically touching me. Shortly after, he sat on my lap.
I’m not sure if he thought he needed to…
How I’m learning about fulfilment from my toddler son.
There is no scientific evidence in this article, other than the experiences I have learned as a mother from my own son, plus a few lessons from other parents I know.
My son knows happiness better than any of us.
Kids get sad at different points throughout their day. They can get grumpy. My son has a meltdown just like that, for the seemingly smallest things. The other day, he cried because he absolutely needed to hold all the toys in his hands but couldn't carry everything at once. Sad times.
But he gets over these episodes quickly and resumes…
Your time and your mind are the only things that are free in this world.
We fight for crumbs of time every day. We prioritise, set some aside to do a lot of things we must, a few we want, and sometimes, we don’t know where the time went because we have nothing to show for it.
Generally speaking, no one ever complains about having too much time on their hands.
But, we all get the same 24 hours in a day.
Some people are extremely efficient and successful with that time. Some people seem to stumble over it and never quite catch up with their backlog of obligations. …
And I refuse to become a liability.
My husband and I made the joint decision for me to stay at home when our son was born — like thousands of couples today.
However, I wasn’t always open to this idea. Firstly, because I did not want to rely on anyone else for my financial freedom. Secondly, I hated the idea of not having a career and adding value in some way to the world, and not just as a mother.
Only when our son arrived, I couldn’t imagine doing anything else, and quitting my job during the start of the pandemic was the best decision I made.
…
Because there will be sacrifices I’m not ready to make.
I have never, ever experienced a love like the love I have for my son. Its brutal force entered me like a magic spell, and I was enchanted by him the moment he was born.
For some reason, and although logic would suggest otherwise, I fear that this love won’t be replicated once more for my second child. I haven't experienced the mother’s love for two yet, and I hope to God that when the baby is born, I’ll be able to reflect on this article and laugh at how silly I was to think any of this.
I have…
And what I do to claim what it owes me.
Fear is useful. But have you ever felt deathly afraid in a situation that presented no real danger?
In today’s Western world, most of us live well and are rarely under any real physical threat — like getting attacked by a bear in a forest. But if we find ourselves in a situation where we actually are in real danger, our fight or flight mode is activated because of our fear. It enables us to react. Thus, fear is actually necessary for our survival.
We practice fire drills at our place of work but we are not constantly escaping fires…
And what we can learn from them.
I’m 31, and I thought I was way past fake friendships.
Turns out, they don’t have an expiry date. Fake friendships aren’t ageist, sexist, or racist. No one is immune to their toxic presence.
Mostly, we are taught to stay away from them. We get hurt and we move on to the next one.
Inevitably, they’re just always there, and it’s about how we react to them. We can ensure they don’t get into our heads, and we can emotionally distance ourselves in order to protect ourselves from them.
But what about the positives we can take from fake or…
Sometimes, going back to basics is better than the lifehacks.
I don’t know how many articles I have read about these unheard of yet highly effective ways to boost your morale. Morning routines, early morning routines, earlier morning routines. I get up at 5 AM because of what I have read online about its benefits.
Yet, I cannot take for granted the things I do every day that boost my moods, but I don’t see them being talked about as much because they’re “too” obvious. Maybe they’ve been saturated to the point no one will talk about them. Maybe, they’re not interesting enough and don’t intrigue people.
The truth is…
I have felt a deep pang of fear that this is the journey that awaits me. I'm an extremely happy stay-at-home mother whose husband applauds her for everything she does today. But that's the point. It is scary to think that I might turn into a liability. You have put into words what so many go through. Another woman's battle, never to be experienced by a man.
Your words are truly touching. Every sentence was heavy with emotion and brutal honesty. You are a wonderful writer with fantaastic skills to put into words so many unexplored and difficult to process emotions. It is this awareness that will get you through it all and make you more resilient than ever. Keep going, and keep telling your stories, please.
Sylvia Emokpae
Hustler by day, mother all the time. Inspired by normal life occurrences because, in hindsight, everything we do is interesting. Chocolate addict.
